On Winter Storm Warnings

My fifth grader told me on the way home that her teacher’s Snow Day Tracker put Thursday’s odds at 99%. My wife’s entire schedule was moved to virtual appointments. We got the friendly reminder Monday morning to make sure we have all that we need at close of business Wednesday so we can be productive (read: billable) from home on Thursday. 8 - 16” expected. Snowfall exceeding 2”/hour at times. 35mph gusts. LFG.

In reality, we could get a dusting. Or freezing rain. I say this mainly because our planet is broken and less than 36h before this mega storm is about to hit I took my dog out in shorts and a sweatshirt because it was 49 degrees out. But, I’m here for the drama.

A Winter Storm Warning in the Great Lakes region dominates the conversation like no other event. And, everyone’s neurosis or ambivalence is on full display. My parents have cancelled any activity outside of the home two days before and three after just to be safe. In the meantime, someone checks out of the express lane of every grocery store in town with an empty fridge at home and barely enough food and drink in the cart to get them past dinner.

I suppose what I love the most about Winter Storm Warnings is that they give you something to do. Something to talk about. Something (relatively) inconsequential to turn into a big deal for 48h in February. Something outside of a seemingly never-ending pandemic, record inflation and the findings of the January 6th Insurrection Committee to mindlessly muse to a stranger in the bar seat next to you about. Think we’ll get 16 inches on Thursday?

I’m pulling - as always - for the blizzard of 2022. I want it to move from a warning to a promise that nobody alive has ever seen a storm of this epic proportion. Not around these parts. That’ll give me something to talk about for the next 50 years.